What I'm Going To Do With $25m

There is only one guarantee with Lotto: if you don't have a ticket you won't win. Of course, if you do have a ticket there's a pretty good chance you won't win, too. But ya gotta be in to win.

Everyone fantasises about what they would do with such a large amount of money. Just say it. Twenty Five Million Dollars. TWENTY FIVE MILLION DOLLARS!!

It's a lot of money. Surely enough to set anybody up for life. And with a little left over to spread around. Many times I've secretly wondered what I'd like to do if money were no object. So, here's a list.

I've always wanted to put a couple of hundred dollar notes into the hat/cup/guitar case of a particularly good busker. The best guitar playing busker I've ever seen/heard was a guy in New Orleans who said he had toured with John English. I kinda doubted that, but the man could play the guitar. He was incredible. I watched for ages, chatted to him, and put a few bucks into his pot. Every now and then you come across someone incredible like that.

10 Things I've Learned as a Tog Noob

I thought I'd throw out into the public arena (which is already saturated with such posts) a post about being a very new and moderately skilled photographer - a label I still feel a little cheeky giving myself.

With the advent of digital, and cheap but decent, DSLR cameras, it is very true that every man and his dog is a photographer. There now exists a huge divide between those professional photographers who have studied the craft all their life and do some good work, and those who recently picked up a decent camera and think they have a good eye. There is also a lengthy spectrum between those two groups.

Of course, lest anybody think I consider myself near the expert end, let me dispel anything like that immediately. On the spectrum I'm a noob. I've taken a few decent snaps, but I have a ways to go before I get noticed (if ever).

But I know what I like, and what I don't. I reckon I know to some degree what makes a good photograph, and doesn't. I think everyone has a little of that talent. We are all familiar with "experts" who may have all the knowledge in the world about a certain subject, but really have no clue. One may have studied the Masters and know everything there is to know about art and its history and fancy themselves an artist. But cant draw a decent stick figure.

Earthquake Memorial

You know... I wasn't terribly impressed with the memorial at Hagley Park the other day.

Don't get me wrong. I thought it was apt. I thought it was necessary. I thought the concept was executed well. But something was lacking.

names of victims are read out

names of victims are read out

There were poignant moments. The choir was particularly sonorous. The reading of the names by Fire Service and Police personnel was evocative. Despite the criticisms they struggled with some of the names, I think they did well with them. I do think, however, I would have preferred a national reading the names of people from their own country, but that may just be me. Hillary Clinton's video message was heartfelt, but for me it came out of left field. Huh? Hillary Clinton? I can understand messages from the Queen and Prince Charles. Nothing from Australian leaders? But Hillary Clinton?

sam johnson

Sam Johnson read a passage that was short and sweet, then disappeared off the stage. I would have liked to hear more from him. Someone sang a song. A few more people spoke, and I think the point for me is I have no idea what any of them said. It was a bunch of politically correct platitudes offered by entirely the wrong people, in most cases, to a crowd that in many ways is still searching for understanding and security for the future, neither of which was available at that service.

john key

John key spoke. Why? Other than being the political leader of New Zealand who left Christchurch decades ago, why would he have anything pertinent to say? Jerry Mataparae, our Govenor General spoke, too. Why? He is a military man whose personality and presence command respect. But I'm not sure why he was given the podium. Bob Parker spoke, but his fifteen minutes is up. Victoria Matthews, while supposedly representative of the spiritual pulse of Christchurch, is rather representative of all that is wrong with religion in the world. Is there a more boring speaker in the church? Any time I've heard her speak I want to slash my wrists by the time she finishes the first paragraph. Of course, every religion had to be represented, so, meh, whatever.

victoria matthews

But what was lacking? Real words from real people. I know we've heard ad infinitum from the victims of the earthquakes. To varying degrees we are all victims of the earthquakes. But instead of hearing from a bunch of stuffy boring people who have little to do with our reality, I'd have preferred to hear five minutes from a few of the people at the real front line of this disaster. Perhaps a few words from some of those who were receiving awards after the "service". Five minutes from Sam Johnson; three minutes from one of the USAR heroes; a few minutes from a few of the families. At the very least a keynote speaker with the ability to capture an audience with something interesting and god forbid inspiring to say.


There were just a little too many things wrong with it. Hone Hawawira was there. Metiria Turei and Russell Norman (omg that hat!) were there. Phil Goff was there. I'd hate to think they were all there simply to try and score political points, but I'd be hard pressed to remember hearing a single word Hone Harawira has ever spoken about the earthquakes. Does he have any direct connection to Christchurch at all? With political clouds hanging over John Key and Bob Parker, it's hard to take them seriously. Same with Phil Goff and Victoria Matthews. Peter Beck was there, and I'm not sure I saw those two communing together in the Lord.

I've long given up the expectation of ever hearing anything inspiring from any New Zealander. I don't think we have any great orators. Have we ever had any? If we do have any, in these days of carefully prepared politically correct PR approved speeches designed to offend no-one and say nothing, anyone taking a public stage is probably terrified of saying something that will get him or her into hot water. So instead they opt for the say nothing approach. Which doesn't do much for the audience.

Some woman came along and told Gudrun and I, and a couple other photographers, that we couldn't take photos of the families. Not that I was, but did she happen to notice the plethora of press photographers right beside us? And the TVNZ camera swinging right in their faces? Hmmm?

And did I mention how uninspiring the speakers were?

So I left feeling a little flat and a lot uninspired. So the day for me was won by the non-people symbols and moments.

half mast

everyone has an earthquake story

flowers in cones - the enduring image of
post-eq christchurch

monarch butterfly

Oh To Be Slim and Pretty

This sort of ignorance bugs me. If she's truly in the dark about it, then she must be completely insensitive and self-centred. If it's just a writing tool, then... she must be completely insensitive and self-centred.

Unhealthy body image seems to be the domain of women. But it isn't.

Does Feeney imagine for one second that little boys don't notice the world around them? Does she think they don't hear and see the messages little boys, teenagers, and adult men are bombarded with every minute of every day?

I don't know when she "grew up". I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I don't see an ounce of maturity in her article so I'll assume she's a really old, wise, 20 something knowitall. I'd wager she's thin and doesn't have a "cellulite concern" either.

Ahh... what would we do without Google. After writing the above I looked her up, and check, check, and probably check (although, to be fair she might be an old, wise early-30-something knowitall). And she's "an expert" on sex and relationships. The mind boggles.

What magical formula in Feeney's Universe allows girls and women to see and understand the negative body messages surrounding us, but delivers boys and men from their harmful effects?

Busker's World First

Mild-mannered plate-spinning
Peter Mielniczek

On the last show of the last day of the World Busker's Festival, no one could predict what was going to happen. Add to the tension a cooling rain, a red beret, and a precocious 4 year old, and the inevitable transpired. Dry-humoured plate-spinning Brit Peter Mielniczek created history (we think). For a full seven minutes, Mielniczek (pronounced "Mielniczek") worked two crowds, two shows at two venues, two sets of gags, and wowed everyone, including (it seemed) even his fellow buskers.

Le Tigre Bleu, Group Show @ 4.30

Well into his plate-spinning, chocolate bar stomping, topless dashing routine, it appeared he was losing control. A young boy named James was stealing the show. Precocious, cute, but a little annoying, James wooed the audience with his cute philosophising. Mielniczek was visibly shaken by the boy's clever responses. Time was running out. He was losing the crowd (not really, but it sounds more dramatic that way. The kid was adorable and Mielniczek was working it like a master). But time was running out. Mielniczek was due in Le Tigre Bleu, an indoor stage opposite the CocaCola Stage where he was, for a bit part in the group show.



So, with time against him, and after two (good-hearted) warnings from fellow buskers, Mielniczek did the unthinkable (at least, to the uninitiated, I imagine such a thing would be unthinkable). He told his audience to wait. He'd be back. Yes. He told the gathered crowd, who had not paid to see him, who were sitting in the cold spitty rain, and from whom he was expecting/hoping to get money as long as they stayed there, to wait. Just let me do this little thing, over there, and I'll be back.

Another Gap Filled

SHAC co-ordinator Tim Bishop on the site of an innovative new project

Gap filler, "a creative urban regeneration initiative" which was born in the wake of Christchurch's September 2010 earthquake and really took off after February's (2011), is building an office in Colombo Street Sydenham. The office will be relocatable, but initially on the site of the old Ascot TV shop, next to Coffee Zone.

Printing plates from The Press will clad some of the
walls of Gap Filler's new office

SHAC (Sustainable Habitat Challenge) is overseeing the project which will see a less than 10 sq.m space made almost entirely of recycled materials. SHAC co-ordinator Tim Bishop says its fun to work on an experimental project like this. The innovative building project brings together a team of volunteers, and the finished office will be up and running in a week (by the 28th).  The innovations are Mark Fielding developed pallet walls using recycled polystyrene for insulation. Recycled carpet lines the inner walls, and outside walls will be clad with recycled printing plates from The Press.

FOX

Stupid Facebook wouldn't let me post the link to this video, but I thought it was worth sharing. Who says FOX doesn't have a sense of humour?

Mundi

What a beautiful day today in Christchurch. The Breeze Lazy Sundays had lined up Mundi, a "world-jazz" band. Awesome. That's what I'd call them. It was a kind of Paul Winter meets Jethro Tull feeling on the lawn. Mellow yet invigorating; jauntingly earthy.

Several hundred people lined the shaded area of the Archery Lawn in Hagley Park's Botanical Gardens. Chilly bins, deck chairs, wine coolers and tanned bodies slowly filled the grassy amphitheatre as Mundi warmed up and tested sound.




I knew as soon as I saw the banjo I was sold.There's not enough banjo music in New Zealand. If I'da had twenty bucks I'd have bought the CD (Mundi's latest album, In the Blink of an Eye) just on the back of the banjo. Founding member Tyson Smith (right) also plays guitar.

Front woman (and also founding member) and brilliant flautist Tamara Smith charmed the audience with some haunting tunes, her funky cool glasses, and did I mention some brilliant flute mastery? Having studied classical music, according to NZ Music Teachers Online, a love of world music, jazz, rock, and blues brought her to Christchurch Polytech Jazz School where she received a Bachelor in Musical Arts and a Diploma in Teaching and Learning from the College of Education.



Mundi captured the Lazy Sunday crowd in an hour and a half set, accompanied by guest singer Roslen Langton, and dancer extraordinaire Emily Napolitano.

Some of Mundi, and many other bands will be performing at The Drum Festival at the Little River Campground on January 28-29. Check out the LRC website for more details.

Technology

Things should me made as simple as possible, but not any simpler 

                                 - Albert Einstein

I'm not the stupidest guy around. I used to feel like I was, but nowadays I feel I can hold my own on a lot of topics, but I am hardly an "expert" on anything.

Especially when it comes to technology. Technology vexes me. Greatly.

It's the 21st Century. I've already given up on the promises made last century by those "in the know" that by now we'd have flying cars, light-speed travel, and transporter machines. Now my hopes and requirements are much simpler. For now I'd just like to have a toaster that doesn't burn crumpets.

It seems to me, though, in my simplicity, that "technology" is not all that it's cracked up to be. The oft used example is that if fridges ran like computers consumers would be up in arms about the inefficiency. But, of course, it's not just limited to computers.

Coffee 2 go

It's commonly known that I am not a coffee connoisseur. I'm an instant coffee guy. And I mean that. A few years ago (quite a few) when friends and I frequented a certain Muffin Break (in the old Northlands Mall), I talked the proprietor into keeping a bag of instant coffee in the bottom cupboard just for me. So every day he'd make me an instant coffee, charge me four dollars and laugh all the way to the bank.

I still drink instant coffee, and the cheaper the better. I like the Home Brand and Budget brews. Why pay ten bucks for a bag of Nescafe when the cheaper stuff for two ninety nine a bag, sometimes as low as one sixty nine, taste just the same?

When I go to Coffee Culture I wish I could get a decent cup of instant coffee. Not perked either. That stuff's just nasty.