Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Blowing My Own Trumpet



I rarely . . . okay, never blow my own trumpet. Outside I'm pretty reticent; inside I'm the most self-deprecating person you could ever meet. True.

However, I think this is absolutely the best photograph I've ever seen. It's gorgeous. I love it. I can stare at it and analyse it for ages. It's absolutely the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I love the colour combinations (the black and white versions are okay in a different kind of way); I love the construction; I love the underlying tension (between the red and the black shakers) - there's even a hint of tension between two factions of the black shakers; I love the suggestion of something grand (the frame); I love the shadows hiding behind the vase; I love the Orchid reaching out to touch the red shaker; I love the ledge that separates the image at a third; I love the mystery (what is that shadow on the right? - I know, but do you? You would never guess!) I love the reflection in the shakers (I love "reflections" - they're often a metaphor); just what is that green object behind the orchid?; I love how the ledge perfectly, symmetrically dissects the top of the red shakers; Like the odds between the warring groups - the black's numbers versus the red's size; there's a chess metaphor somewhere here.

I love this photograph!

There was no staging here at all. I was in a little cafe on Sunday with some friends and thats exactly how it was set up. During our lunch a couple of the black shakers came and went. But I took the photograph without moving anything.

I had to apologise to my friends because for a while as we had our coffees and bagels I was utterly distracted by the potential of this scene, which was diagonally opposite us. So I moved the the table next to us, which, fortunately was empty, and took a few shots.

Did I say how much I love this photo?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Serial Troughing

From one trough to the next?

There is nothing left to chance in politics. When Sue Bradford announced she was leaving Parliament, it was obvious the last rat was leaving the sinking Green ship. Disillusioned? Yeah right. How could such a seasoned irritant, a thick-skinned trouble-maker with the tenacity of a rutting rhinoceros get “disillusioned” by a little thing like losing out on the co-leadership of a rag-tag band of misfits, militants, and vegans?

Not before it’s due, the Green Party is over. They’ve reached the outer fringe of society and unless they make Waiheke Island an electorate of its own I’ll be surprised if the Greens have any role at all in the next government.

So Bradford, unable to sustain feeding at the public trough for much longer, has hung up her stilettos and has her eye on a more local, and probably lucrative trough, the new Auckland Super-City (sounds too much like Stoopid-City to be taken seriously.)

Name me ONE thing, ONE organisation that has become more efficient, more cost-effective, and more effective by becoming LARGER, by being swallowed up by an even larger organisation. Name me one.

So even though Len Brown – and his new best friend and potential 2IC Sue Bradford – don’t have a hope in Hell of winning the Mayoralty of the new metropolis, they’re still going to give it a go.

So I think it’s a bit rich that only a few days after dumping her political toys out of the cot, suddenly the possibility of running for council in her own back yard pops up over herbal tea and vegan scones?

Yeah, right!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

fashion weak

I think "fashion" is the most pretentious waste of time. Of course, I'm a middle aged chubby white guy, so what would I know.

The most interesting thing to come out of Fashion Weak so far has been the headline "When goody bags go bad . . ." If anything symbolises how pathetic New Zealand is on the world stage, it's the fact that the most exciting gift in the goody bags at Fashion Weak was tea bags!

No Chanel, no diamond jewellery, no airline tickets to exotic destinations, no iPods or Blackberrys, no 1 ounce gold bars, no cars. Tea bags. A tea towel. An apple.

And second hand books? What's that about. I'm guessing it wasn't an autographed copy of Catcher in the Rye. The mind boggles.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

More driving woes

So, I'm turning out of my street, turning right. There's no give way so the bozo coming from my left and turning into my street has to give way, right? Yes! He's a young punk in a Subaru, and get this - with iPod headphones in his ears. He sails around the corner cutting me off without even hesitating or slowing down. And when I deliver him some appropriate chastisement, HE FLIPS ME!!! Can you believe that? He gives ME the finger, like I've done something wrong!

And speaking of dickheads on the road, just after that I heard on the news that a hundred and something drivers in Auckland had been caught driving drunk. And then follows the usual bleating about how the message isn't getting through. How many hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars over the last 20 years?

Here's a simple public service ad that I guarantee will half the drink driving rate:

If you drink, drive and get caught, on the first offence you will be:
Disqualified from driving for two years (no exemptions);
Fined $10,000 (to be vigorously pursued by the IRD)
Sent to jail for three months.

First offence. No exceptions, no excuses. If you're caught, that's what will happen. Second offence? Twice the above. Third, throw away the key. Let the Bros in PRISON have you for their plaything.

And if our pussy pathetic justice system actually followed through with it, I have to think that would cut out a lot of drivers who are sober enough to think they can get away with it, and even if they are caught the penalties really aren't that harsh anyway. You have to have a dozen convictions before you do any jail time.

If you KILL someone while driving drunk you only get a couple years in the hole. What sort of deterrent/punishment is that?

We need to come down really hard on crime in this country.

Starting with that little toe-rag who cut me off!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Ghosts. I remember my sister telling a story about someone she knew who had had some kind of experience with a spectre on a lonely road at night, and somehow a possum or some possums featured. I’m not sure how, but I was only six or seven or eight. I remember being terrified. I had a kind of Blair Witch vision in my head, which has stuck with me.

Did that pre-dispose me to “believe” in ghosts?

Who knows. And I’m not sure “believe” is the right word. I’ve never seen a ghost. I know people who say they have. I tolerate Ghost Whisperer, only because my wife likes it. I thought Sixth Sense was a very good movie and I confess I never saw it coming!

For want of a better word, then, I will say I believe in ghosts. So when this story popped up on Stuff I thought how cool.

I was a bit frustrated at how shallow the story was, hence my comment requesting a follow-up. Any journalist with a bit of salt would do some research into this. Who might the Maori woman be? What’s her story? And the cat?

This story has made front page news (on the website at least). It’s either a hoax, or a concrete example of a paranormal phenomenon. Either way, it deserves a follow-up. I know you can’t trust the photo. It could be something hanging on the pole. It’s hard to tell it’s a woman. And wearing a t-shirt? Who is Janet Stansfield? Does she have a history similar to the Whoopie Goldberg character in Ghost, a history of deception?

Most would probably approach this with an element of scepticism, which is okay. But to approach it with a “scientific” method would be fruitless, and unfortunately the only method that gets any serious credibility nowadays is the scientific one. That’s sad.

I look forward to the follow-up.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Send in the marines!

Ahh . . the Undie 500, eh. Just a few lads and ladettes, letting go of the stress of exams, the pressures of lectures. Letting off a bit of steam. Boys being boys (and girls being girls).



Here’s what I think should happen.

The police dropped the ball. Again. It’s not as if there was no warning. And their role was containment only, until it got out of hand. Did anybody – ANYBODY – think it wasn’t going to get out of hand? It should have been shut down before it started, and I don’t mean by pussy council bylaws that said it can’t happen, but are toothless in the actual execution of them. The police, armed to the teeth, and even the army, should have shut it down before the engines started.

Failing that, the police and the army should have been patrolling the streets of Dunedin and arresting anyone who even LOOKED like a student, herd them into a hall somewhere, and held indefinitely while they are processed through the courts.

When the parties inevitably started with those who got through the police lines, they should have been cordoned off, and closed down.

80 arrests? There should have been hundreds of arrest, and every one of them should be:

Convicted to the fullest extent of the law;
Expelled from university for life;
Forced to pay back every cent of student loan they are no doubt owing;
Divested of their passport so they can’t skip the country, and the debt;
Sent to JAIL.

I cannot believe we as a society stand for this sort of crap, this sort of anti-social behaviour. I can’t believe that these idiots will be allowed to be the leaders of this country, as some of them inevitably will be. They will be like Sue Bradfor who in later life has used her former anti-social behaviour as a badge. Just as she should have been locked up, so too should these morons.

Same with the boy racers, and the gangs. I cannot believe we as a society stand for it.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

"We got it wrong"

Funny I should mention The Block yesterday, as it seems the Labour Party Conference was being held in Rotorua. Who knows why. But in a tired, depressed, brown town, it's probably only fitting that the tired, depressed Labour Party poke its head above ground in that dump. They've finally admitted they might have "got it wrong" on a few things they did while in Government.

Obviously the same script writer was active, with all the head boffins admitting to having "priorities" that were not necessarily in line with the rest of the country. They even dragged Jim Anderton's tired old bones up on stage to apologise for, yep, "moving on to other priorities." Sorry, Jim, the New World Order will have to wait another round. But don't worry, the last great white hope is still flurrying away in New York. Don't give up the dream.

John Key and his cronies should beware, however. Labour's catastrophic defeat in the election last year had little to do with "priorities" and everything to do with arrogance. They thought they knew what was best for Joe Citizen, even if Joe disagreed.

It would be simplistic to say that Labour was defeated because of the anti-smacking legislation. But I'm gonna say it anyway. Labour was defeated because of the anti-smacking legislation. It was the final straw, but it also represented the arrogance that was, and still is, inherent in the political system. Despite overwhelming opposition by the New Zealand public, Labour went ahead and did it anyway. And if there had been a viable alternative, John Key wouldn't have won either because of his sychophantic collaboration with the Red Team.

Problem is, if we get sick of the Blue Team, who else is there to vote for? Which characterises the whole "democratic" system. Rarely do you get the best Government. You just don't get the worst one.

I guess the mutterings in Rotorua are the closest thing we're going to get to an apology. Their priorities might have been a little askew. Yeah, right.

“The idea that taking rights and conditions off working people will help the economy, and conversely that shoring up rights and improving incomes will wreck it, has been exposed for the contempt that underpins it.”

Is this irony writ large from Andrew Little? Who better than Labour knows about taking rights and conditions off working people? Labour, like National, did NOTHING for "working " people . . at least for the 80% in the middle. If you were rich under Labour, you got richer. If you were on a low income under Labour you did better (even if you became more dependent on their welfare). If you were "middle class" under Labour . . you got squat. Except more taxes, more costs, and less slack. And you couldn't smack your children (not that I did anyway - I want that on record).

So, thanks for the apology, Andrew. I will take it with the grain of salt I'm sure it was delivered with.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

A wee bit precious?

I don’t know what it’s like to have a history of victimisation, although I grew up in The Block, so perhaps I do. And I’m not being trivial. Growing up in The Block truly traumatised me.

But my “people” don’t really have a history of being victims.

But, aren’t we all getting just a little precious? Two things today suggest we are.

AIDS groups, and Jewish groups have slammed a campaign announcing AIDS is a mass murderer, using the face of Adolf Hitler as its poster fuhrer.

It’s intended to shock, and does.

The second is the recent – second – suspending of shock jock Kyle Sandilands. He suggested that if Magda Szubanski really wanted to lose weight she should book in to a concentration camp. She’s been passive aggressive about it, but Jewish leaders – hmmm . . . a pattern emerges . . . are “outraged.”

Here’s the skippy tho. AIDS kills people in their masses. It’s a mass killer. I can’t see what the offense is that Hitler’s face be used to highlight the evil that is AIDS. That’s not to say people with AIDS are evil. No reasonable person would deduce that. It is to say AIDS is an insidious disease that needs to be highlighted.

Auschwitz happened. Well, most reasonable people agree it happened. It was horrific. It, too, was the result of evil. But the plague happened, too, and we joke about that. The Inquisition. The Salem witch trials. Rwanda. Ethiopia. And maybe it’s little off colour to make “jokes” about some of these things, but to be publicly outraged, call for Sandilands head on a plate . . oops, maybe that’s a bit off colour . . . to demand he lose his job? That’s just being a bit too precious.

The Jews have their own in-jokes about Gentiles. They are not beyond their own pogroms. They need to chill out a bit.

Advertising is an art form. The freedom of speech is sacred. I understand and accept the need for some restrictions . . . but not many.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Geez . . . a week on the Gold Coast?



Or a week in Hamilton?



No brainer, really. Hamilton IS a dump!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

It's time to be afraid

I sit squarely in the middle of the school who thinks this, while amusing at one level, is terrifying at almost every other level.

Forget that I once considered God, well . . . God. Forget that this kind of BLASPHEMY would, until only a few decades ago, have elicited certain damnation. Forget that this article, perhaps correctly, makes a complete mockery of the institution of religion. But in the midst of this convenient amnesia, try to think about the implications of what is surely the truth behind this article. And be afraid. Be very afraid.

The theory behind a couple of pretty popular movies . . . Terminator, and I, Robot . . . is simple. One day computer driven machines will rise up and overthrow the human race.

George Orwell thought that the rise of humans was humanity’s greatest danger. In the post-Orwell world, we’ve moved past that. While humans are still the greatest threat to humans (or perhaps viruses are – the non-electronic kind), and while twenty years ago (Terminator time) the idea that machines overthrowing humans was entertainingly ludicrous, now . . . NOW the one real thing lacking then – a realistic, possible vehicle for bringing the machines together, and to life – seems to be here. It’s not knocking on the door, it’s already in our lounge. It’s in our kitchen, preparing meals; it’s teaching our children; it’s a better friend to them than most parents can ever be. It’s controlling our businesses; facilitating our banking processes.

It is slowly and surely making us more and more and more dependent on it. It is addicting us. It is controlling us.

Google’s motto is “Do no evil.” As if it could. You don’t purport to NOT do something that you cannot do.

Information is good. But isn’t it also power? Whoever owns the information, or perhaps more importantly, access to it, surely has a significant amount of power.

The military already has the technology to send machines into battle by remote control. Sure, it’s in infancy. But it’s real. The field of robotics, now decades old, has grown exponentially in the last few years. And if we’re not already completely dependent on computer technology . . . well, we are. There’s no doubt. What would happen if “computers” went down for a week. NO computers.

Most computers are connected to some kind of network. So it’s not impossible to imagine a virus big enough, and far-reaching enough to paralyse the entire electronic grid. The trillion dollar electronic security industry knows all too well the real possibility of such an attack.

NO computers, anywhere, for a week. For 60% of the population, that is incomprehensible. It is impossible. Government, financial institutions, tertiary institutions, border control, hospitals, traffic control, AIR traffic control, shipping, communications infrastructure (phones and, of course, internet).

For one week. Can you imagine it? What about a month? What about indefinitely. The human race would sink to new lows before it could spring back from that kind of chaos.

“Do no evil.”

Well, that’s nice as long as two good ole boys with altruistic intentions are in charge of Google. The world is safe while philanthropist Bill Gates is at the helm of the most powerful operating system in the universe. But what happens when the real life version of VICKI decides the human race can no longer look after itself? What happens when a SKYNET lookalike pulls together the world’s military might and decides on it’s own what the real threat to the universe is?

Didn’t we giggle a bit at the Terminator? Even twenty five years later we watched I, Robot with an amount of scepticism. That could never really happen.

Well, only six years after that, I’m not giggling any more. I’m not even smirking. When the Sydney Morning Herald can proclaim, only mildly tongue in cheek, that Google might be worthy of the title GOD, I think it’s time to be a little bit afraid.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Nothing Unusual?

David Bain wants the rifle back, the one that killed his family. Joe Karam says there's nothing unusual in the request.

Nothing unusual? NOTHING UNUSUAL?? OMG!

Everything about the Bain saga could arguably be called unusual, stating with the man's ears, his jerseys, and Karam's obsessive pursuit of Bain's aquittal.

Now he wants some of the exhibits back. Well, fair enough, I guess. But the rifle? It's his gun, says Karam, so he should be allowed it back.

Well, okay. But I think it's a bit much to suggest there's nothing "unusual" about such a request. It's be like OJ wanting the gloves back, or Timothy McVeigh claiming the insurance on the U-Haul.